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Sunday, January 15, 2017

Sakit...

Lama dah NJ tak sakit gigi. the last time was this. This one caused me noticeable tooth gap in every photo sebab gigi tu dah termasuk ke dalam sedikit, tapi realitinya, tak ada pun gigi jarang. Balik dari bercuti aritu, NJ rasa ngilu gigi geraham belakang, nak kata sebab gigi bongsu tak juga sebab dh cabut pun gigi tu. Sebab nak balik Kelantan, NJ tahankan aje sakit dgn makan painkiller. It temporarily eased the pain but as soon as the med wears off, the pain came back.  Tambah lagi Kelantan musim hujan, sejuknya lagi menambah sakit. Bila tak tahan, NJ ke dentist tapi katanya tak boleh cabut sebab gusi bengkak. He prescribed me antibiotics, and more painkillers. Kena tunggu few days after the pain subsides. Ok, NJ boleh tunggu dua hari, hari ketiga dah rasa tak tentu arah, even the painkiller doesn't work. The pain was unbearable to say the least. I can't imagine what sort of pain that can match the toothache. Patutlah sebelum ni dengar orang kata kalau sakit gigi rasa macam nak lempang orang. How true it was for me, it was so painful I can't describe it. Like, it was in my bones, it was like thousands of needles pricking me on the skin and it was in my head all the time I just want to shut everything off and cry, it was that painful... Barulah teringat cari penawar alternatif melalui internet, terjumpa petua ni, katanya baca surah Al-Hasyr ayat 21-24. Gigih NJ menghafal, it works only temporary but it helps calm my nerves, and zikrullah helps too. Masa ni teringat sakit bersalin, adakah sama sakitnya I just can't recall. Alhamdulillah it's over as soon as the doctor get rid of the sickly tooth, and so sayang because it was only bad in the middle, the doctor said the root was still good.

Ya Allah, NJ rasa bertuah sangat-sangat belum lagi diuji sakit yg hebat selain sakit bersalin. Bila NJ bayangkan sakit apa lagi di dunia yg tidak tertanggung oleh badan, NJ tak dapat nak bayangkan. Terbaru NJ terbaca Almarhumah Nik Idzni Dalila di akhir hayatnya bercerita tentang kesakitan yg ditanggungnya akibat kanser, katanya seluruh badannya sakit dan jika bergerak sedikitpun seperti merasakan seseorang menikam dadanya berulang kali, Allah hu... Al-Fatihah kepada arwah, pejuang kanser yg disayangi semua yg mengenali dan tidak mengenali beliau. Tabah sungguh dia melawan penyakitnya. NJ tak dapat bayangkan adakah NJ boleh setabah beliau, sakit gigi pun dah nangis... Bayangkan pula sakit akibat azab di neraka, Ya Allah, ampunkan dosa-dosaku...

I'm actually traumatized by the last blow I got in 2003 when a lump was discovered in my breast. It was non-cancerous, tapi NJ jadi trauma tak mau cek lagi. But the lump is back and I was so scared to do the check-up, I just don't know what to do, what with my sister and aunt who were diagnosed with breast cancer last year... I postponed the check up for far too long, I was making excuses not to, Arif belum habis sekolah, Arif belum habis belajar, I have to travel to see the world blablabla.... Shall I worry? Ya Allah, berikan aku kekuatan...

* Care to talk? goboklama@gmail.com

1 comment:

m.u.l.a.n said...

Assalamualaikum u.. Apa kabar? Moga sentiasa sihat, dilindungi & dirahmati Allah..

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